I suck at blogging.

But here I go trying my hand at it again!

I recently found out that "sometimes when you love something, you have to let it go", is not just for children who begged their parents to rescue a cute cat off the streets; only to find out that it was a lost cute cat and they now have to return it to it's rightful owners. It's also not just something you hear in romantic movies. Apparently, this is a thing. And it happens.

Me and Comic Book Hero broke up. I guess it could be called mutual, though I pushed for it. I asked him to "let me go", and then he finally did. Though I was hurt at first, the pain quickly faded. In the six months that I haven't written anything, in the six months that we had been dating, I barely got to know him. I knew little things, minute details. But the whole relationship had shifted on it's axis, and at some point he stopped trying. By the time we broke up (over facetime) I hadn't seen or heard from him in a week (which wasn't that abnormal for us).

If you're anything like my friends, I'm sure you're asking "so who's the new guy?" And I'm offended! Hurt even. How dare you assume I already have a new guy.

So, I'm thinking a fun nickname for him would be Heart of Gold (as in the space ship in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Because me knowing that "Belgium" is a swear word is what got us to hit it off. It has absolutely nothing to do with him being really sweet.) We have had one date already, and that's really all you nosey-people need to know for now.

There is also Piano Man, who is coming over tomorrow to hang out before I leave to visit my sister who has her internship in Berlin. We have a connection and I've known him for awhile, though we lost contact and didn't start to talk again until (... you can totally see this coming can't you?) after Comic Book Hero and I broke up. Not that that was super intentional, I just happened to message quite a few everyone who was online they day after it all went down. Piano Man happened to be one of those people. We were talking and it was like "why did we stop talking, you're super cool" and "lucky charms" and "come on over". And so he came over. And he slept over. But there was no hanky panky! We didn't even kiss. (True story.) Though the connection between us is there, it's hard to know what to call it. For now, I'll say we just enjoy each-other's company. We eventually started doing the kissy thing a few days later. It was so casual and comfortable that I honestly can't remember how it started, it just did. But I never got butterflies because of his touch or got blushy when he messaged me; like I do with Heart of Gold. Heart of Gold kissed me tonight, a lot. And with every touch and every kiss I felt my heart tremble; butterflies making me sick with giddiness. So a few days ago, I told Piano Man I wanted to go back to basics. No kissy stuff, no hand holding, no things people in relationships do: just friends. He's really happy to oblige. He feels a bit guilty that he is so vague with his feelings, but I told him it's okay. This is for the better, because I know what will happen: I'll decide that I really like him eventually and get my heart broken when he isn't sure how he feels. There is no sense in letting a little physical history get in the way of a rockin' friendship though, after all- we do have a connection.

Heart of Gold is coming over on Thursday to send me off in the evening before I sit in a bus for 12 hours. I need those homeopathic sleeping pills. Maybe I can knock my butt out and get a bit of sleep on the bus. I really can't wait to see my sister, or Berlin! We're going to visit some shops and stuff, and I can pick up a really cute dress to put on for when I get back. Because, I get back on the day of Heart of Gold's birthday! Wow, don't I have splendid timing. He's offered me to come over after I get off the bus (at a bright and shining 7 in the morning) and crawl into bed with him. This is a thing I'm very likely to do. Though it does involve meeting the parents for breakfast after we wake up.

Still no word if I've gotten into the school I applied to, but my diploma is in the mail. I'll call them when I get back from Berlin, see if they can give me any information. As for the rest of the summer? Well, we'll just have to see what happens.

- This girl had pizza for dinner

A sudden urge...

So, I was skipping through my facebook news feed when all of a sudden I see someone shared this article:

6 Things Men Will Literally Never Get

One of my guy friends shared it, and I kind of have mixed feelings about that because now I feel the urge to write a rebuttal. For the sake of all women and men out there.

Let's go through the points in the same order, shall we?

1. Drinks at the club

The author of this pretty much says 'thanks for the free booze, but you're not getting any (read: sex), no matter how much free booze you give me'. Sure, fair enough. No one should expect that if they give you a drink it's a instant one-way ticket to Panties-land. But, on that same note, accepting one drink from someone hitting on you is polite (less you really just don't want to be bothered). But, I draw the line at using someone for free booze. Besides, lady who thinks all guys should already know this stuff because of movies and family and the internet (blah blah blah), you cannot tell me you don't know what they're trying to do. They want you in a nasty, do it in the bathroom kind of way. Don't be so naive and disrespectful. 

2. When we say we need space

No one here majored in mind reading. Be honest with the person you are in a relationship with. Because if you can't be honest, then what the hell are you doing in a relationship? When I say I need space, that usually means "I don't want to say something I'll regret. And this situation is pissing me off. And hurting my head. Leave me alone while I organise my brain." Life isn't a quick-fix rom-com, and no one should have to "fight" for you everyday, let alone every week or month. Nobody has time for that, and it's exhausting. Besides, your beau probably needs some space of his own if you're anywhere near as high-maintenance as you sound. 

3. We don't over-think

Yes. Yes we do. Point in case: your article and mine.

And it's not a bad thing- unless you focus on the negative and constantly bother your significant other with the millions of thoughts that run through your head every moment. I suggest taking up creative writing, or journaling. It's constructive. 

4. We already know the truth

No. You think you already know the truth. But we just discussed how we woman (not exclusive) are prone to over-thinking. We are also prone to having faux arguments in our heads in preparation for the real deal; even though we know deep down that this argument won't go like we thought (if it even happens at all). Did no one tell you that when you assume you are making an ass-out-of-you-and-me? 

5. When we say we're fine, we're NOT

This makes me laugh and roll my eyes at the SAME TIME. Yes, 'fine' has become that word in arguments that girls use when they're not fine. But you know what? Just like the 'I need space' BS, no one can read your mind. If you're not fine, say: "I'm not fine." Really that simple. 

I'm personally NOT okay with a guy bugging me a bazillion times to see if I'm okay. If I'm not okay and I'm being passive aggressive about it, don't worry, I'll get around to letting you know what's up. Right now, I'm trying to figure out 1) What exactly is wrong. 2) How do I convey what I'm feeling in words. 3) What is it that I want the solution to be. Maybe some other things too, but that's the gist of it. But if you keep bothering me about it, then I'm only going to get annoyed with you on top of whatever else it is that's already bothering me. 

6. Fantasies

I think I threw up a little bit.

No, no, no, no, no, no, seriously NO. Do not, please, reference romance movies when asking guys to understand the (get ready for sarcasm) oh so complex mind and life of the female. First of all, they probably didn't see the movie; and if they did, they probably weren't paying attention because they were forced to see it by some girl. Second, if you idealise men by what you see in movies, then you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. Plus, you're being just as bad as men who idealise woman for the way they see them in movies. 

So yea. Got that out of my system. Here's a picture of the phone case I made.

- This tired of whiney girls, girl

Quick sir! Tell me what year it is!

Skittles Rum! 

(Kids drink responsibly. I mean, not kids. Kids don't drink. Adults drink responsibly...)

- Two big bag of skittles

- Five cool looking glass bottles (already pre filled with rum definitely works)

- Rum to fill the bottles (if not already pre filled)*

- 5 bowls

- empty water bottle

- coffee filters

- funnel

- pitcher

(*Rum can be substituted for vodka or I guess any strong clear liquor.)

Sort your two bags of skittles into bowls. If you have pre filled bottles (mine were 350ml), you will need to empty about a fifth of the rum from each bottle into a empty water bottle. (Make room for the skittles! Science b!%@#) I put 50 skittles into each bottle. Make sure all bottles are sealed nicely, put the water bottle aside (maybe clearly marked "RUM" so you don't drink it the next morning thinking it's water. Totally didn't make that mistake myself or anything...) Shake. Shake a couple hours later. Shake some more. Create a song and dance for every time you shake. Watch telly. Shake them bottles baby! Go to sleep. Eat breakfast. Shake again. Let these colourful bottles of joy sit for about 24 hours to let all the candy dissolve. (While periodically shaking them. Did I mention... shake? My rum shake brings all the boys to the yard?) Filter the skittle jizz from the rum using the funnel and coffee filters into the pitcher. This part takes awhile. Also, you will need to filter the rum a couple times. Put them back in their bottles, refill to the top with the rum in the water bottle. Top on tight and shake. Stick them in the freezer until ready to drink. Mixes well with sprite.

Happy New Year everyone! It's 2014! I decided to not smoke! I have a boyfriend! I'm attempting to set Ash up with my 'sister'! I'm working on my portfolio! I'm going snowboarding Friday! For a week! I ate homemade mac&cheese tonight with lactose free cheese! And it was amazing! I added spinach to make it kind of healthy! 

Things are really good, Comic Book Hero and I are doing amazingly well and even bought a pie for our one month anniversary. (Mainly because after New Years, there was still about 7 of us sleeping at Comic Book Hero & Co.'s house. And we all woke up together because we all were still sleeping in the same room. So I announced to everyone the good news after Comic Book Hero and I spent a few minutes cuddling under the covers.) Things are really good with Ash too! We get along great and even are good friends. It makes me smile that things are so nice. This past week I've become so close to such cool people. I don't have nicknames for them yet. I'll get back to you on that. My sister and Ash were flirting at the New Year's party and it was so cute! So now I'm trying to get them to talk and stuff... (tehehehe winky face) 

Guess who messaged me the other day? (Hint: The answer is not "your mom".) My brother! Yea, I was pretty surprised too. It was kind of late in the evening/early in the morning. It started off okay, it was all "Hey, if you try I will try. But I still don't like you." And then it really quickly jumped to "You're super selfish and never think about anyone else and I had a shitty New Year's because of you." Okay, he didn't really say the last part, but he did imply it. Really. He also called me a liar. Which is true, I did lie about having sex with Ash. Of course I regret that whole situation, lying included. I lied because I was a coward. I didn't want to have to deal with what I did or the consequences I'd have to face. I wanted to avoid all that/this. Now, he wants to meet up and "talk" because Ash has a housewarming coming up soon and Ash wants us both to be there. Apparently the only problem is with my brother because I induce blinding rage in him or something. Though, now it's better. He's cooled off a lot, so I've been told, and he wants to "try". I tried using a Star Wars quote on him ("there is no try, only do") but it kind of flopped. At any rate, I immediately felt sick again (didn't help that I was actually already sick) and had to throw up, then I cried myself to sleep. (Needless to say, I'm not really looking forward to our upcoming "talk" if this is how our conversations are going to end from now on.) Comic Book Hero was by my side fortunately and held me. "Everything will be okay." 

Winter sport vacation starts this Friday! I'm going snowboarding with my neighbour & co. We're staying in a cabin for 10 days, I'm so excited. First time snowboarding on a real mountain (omigoodness). 

- This new year!

That feeling when...

Today I made it ‘facebook official’ with Comic Book Hero. I would like to say that “I don’t care about such superficial indications of love.” And there is also a little part of me that says, “Be careful that which you put on the internet.” Sure, it’s not me showing my lady bits while drunk or anything, but I do feel a shudder of concern for the impact that it could have on some people one. But then I remind myself that he already knows all the information and besides he de-friended me on facebook. (Thus, fortunately it won’t be blasted all over his wall in big flashy letters: “Your Ex is in a new relationship with this guy!” (Or girl. It could happen.)) Though speaking of the ex, his birthday is today. My phone reminded me. At first I got really confused thinking Facebook was reminding me, and how that couldn’t really happen. I didn’t wish him a good one, I’m thinking that he would prefer to think I didn’t exist. And the reminder that I still do, would outweigh the blessing of a happy birthday. But, if you happen to be reading this; I wish you a happy birthday.

I spent Christmas in the north of Finland. And while it was my misfortune to not see the northern lights, I still had (for the first time ever) a white Christmas. I took a good friend of mine along (sisters? best friends? engaged?) and I couldn’t have asked for a better traveling buddy. We both of the same interests: food, culture, walking, and small boutique shopping. We also learned a lot about Finnish Christmas, and my Finnish friend even cooked us some traditional Finnish Christmas food. Amongst the things we learned:

- Santa only spanks children if they’re bad (instead of coal in the stocking- The States and England/other English speaking countries?, kidnapping in Santa’s toy bag- Netherlands, or being boiled into stew and eaten- Sweden).
- Before it was “Santa Claus” it was a Christmas goat, who brought all the good little boys and girls presents. 
- Christmas goat is represented by a miniature straw goat and hidden in houses/stores.
- Christmas morning rice porridge is made with one almond. He or she who gets the almond has a whole year of good luck.
- The Christmas tree sits in the house bare until Christmas Eve morning. Then everyone helps to decorate the tree.

We also spent Christmas Eve on top of a hill with a nice big fire and roasted veggies and sausages, drinking imported vodka, and having a jolly ol’ time in knee deep snow. Seeing as it was -3*c or so, when we got back to 7/8*c in the Netherlands, we didn’t need our jackets and found it indeed warmer. And I was pleasantly surprised by Comic Book Hero showing up at the airport.

“You were flying from Helsinki right? Just casually asking.” (I was tempted to send the flight number “just casually letting you know”, but I really enjoyed the effort.)

The next day I spent with Comic Book Hero, his house-mate (who will have to get a nickname soon, because come the new year there will be another housemate), Ash Catch’em, and a few other lovely people. I haven’t seen Ash since the whole I like you/I don’t like you thing. It was such an abrupt decision (made over facebook messaging I believe) that I guess we hadn’t really anticipated what would happen when we’d see each other again. Him being so busy with school and other matters of life and me being so busy with… well Comic Book Hero (and other matters of life of course), we also hadn’t talked much since then either. It’s been almost a month since we’ve seen each other. It felt like being neck deep in water whenever he was around. And I couldn’t help but be awkward. I tried hard to act like I ‘normally do’ but at some moments I couldn’t tell if he understood I was being sarcastic and joking around, or if he thought I was serious. Then of course he was also very edgy with the jokes. There is a left over hiss of electricity when I see him, that considering how much it’s already faded, I can only imagine will be gone very soon. According to Comic Book Hero though, Ash still has feelings for me. Which I denied, given his (what I thought) slightly acidic humour towards me.

- This world traveller 

"Do you want..."

“…to join us backstage for drinks?” Asked one of the bands that played that evening. 

“I can do that?” I said as I followed along. 

————————————————————

Last Thursday I was invited to a concert with friends for the next day. “Our friend backed out, and we’ve asked literally everyone.” After listening to the link they sent me of one of the band’s song, I happily agreed. Sounds awesome! I thought. It had been awhile since I was at a concert anyways, I miss the atmosphere. Having never heard the band before, I didn’t really know what to expect. Will and the People was their name. And boy did they have quite the que for their show! We grabbed food, hopped in line, and got in just in time to catch them walking on stage. Unfortunately this meant we missed the opening band. (Yes Sir Boss) Another band I had never heard of before. But that fact barely phased me. 

After the first round of drinks, I offered myself up to get the second. Standing at the bar I was distracted by the (lack of) que and the music. Thinking it was my turn up, I quickly stuck up three fingers and said “drie biertjes alsjeblieft!” as loud as I could. Then I noticed the guy next to me give that all-too-familiar look of ‘dammit’. First I apologised in Dutch, then upon realisation that he was not Dutch, I began to apologise in English. We laughed it off and started talking, and the few others he was with joined in. Still clutching the three beers in my hands, I left with a promise to continue the conversation because they seemed like really cool people. 

A bit later, I find them again, and finally get to the question “So you guys came all the way from England?” 

“Yea, well we were the opening band.” 

“Oooo, really? Man! I missed you guys because the que outside was so long!” … “No, I haven’t ever heard of you before.” I blushed a bit - semi-embarrassed to admit to the band that I haven’t the faintest idea who they are. But the rest of Will and the People, a free CD, few drinks, plenty of conversation, and quick ‘tour” (the ATM is there, and we can smoke indoors) later and I was being invited back stage. 

Never have I ever just been invited backstage before. Sure, my dad promoted concerts and was the manager of a pretty ‘hip’ club back in the day. And he hosted many bands that I am proud to have to just been in the same room as. But. I was two. Or maybe three. Fun stories, but that stuff doesn’t count.

Back stage with Yes Sir Boss, Will and the People, and all the managers, producers, sound techs, roadies, groupies and anybody else apart of what makes a music tour work, and me. 

Things to do before I die #286: Party with the band. Check.

- This groupie

Helen of Troy

I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually sick, or it's just the drama that's been going on. Because I'll be thinking "woo! I feel so much better!" and then someone else will be like "you're a shitty Mc. Shitterson person. Go drown in boiling water." and then I'm like "gotta throw up again!" Though, the past few days have been going well. I just have this inky feeling it will be short lived.

Tomorrow is a LAN party at the school, and while I was obviously not invited, it doesn't matter anyways because I have other plans. I'm going with Chaos on a weekend get-away of sorts. It happens every year and despite being a third year at my association, this will be my first year going. The guys (in my group) made me promise I would actually go this time. Normally, this is about the time I would cancel. Why? (You ask, I can hear you, you're pretty loud.) Well, something always comes up. It's not cliche, really! And right now, stress is eating away at my stomach. I might throw up again. The LAN party is hosted by my brother friend (he kind of hates me right now) and Confusing, who from this point on shall be known as Ash Catch'em. My brother has invited my ex and Comic Book Hero will be there too. So, let me sum that up for you: my brother, Ash (the guy I slept with), my ex, and Comic Book Hero (the guy I'm currently dating) will all be together at a party... tomorrow. Not that I would compare myself physically or personally with Helen of Troy, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Could it be the LAN-jan War tomorrow? Hah- no, of course not. I hope. I'll just have to hear about it later. Fortunately I will be very distracted this weekend. 

Then there is this problem where Comic Book Hero really wants me at his New Year's party. He's excited to finally be able to kiss a girl at midnight. (I'm special.) But my brother "will not go if [I] am there." To go or not to go, that is the question. I really, really want to go. But that would mean isolating my brother from his friends. I told Comic Book Hero that I might no go, and at the time I didn't have any other plans for New Year's, but now I have been invited to a party hosted by my neighbour. Meanwhile, Comic Book Hero says if I don't go, he'll just come here. Because he really, really wants to be with me. And his roommate could definitely still host the party, but that just feels not right. When did I become the center of so many problems? I also have the feeling my brother is trying to get back at me by making my life difficult. He made Ash choose between me and him, and thank goodness Ash chose him because I couldn't handle anymore complications. I just hope my brother doesn't try the same thing with Comic Book Hero. 

On other news, I changed the name of the ticket so now my best girlfriend will be going with me instead of my ex! I'm super excited. I will get to spend Christmas with her and my friends in Finland! And I heard that Finland has all sorts of lactose free products, including ice cream. Not that soy gross stuff, but real, lactose free ice cream. Yes. Ice cream has me really excited right now. 

I met a girl who reminds me a lot of a younger me. She's 18, and I see a lot of who I was at that same age in her. She's sweet and hyper and I think she's hiding a lot from the world. I remember putting up a mask (sometimes I still do) when I went out to face the world. Pretending that life was good, smiling when I wanted to cry, and all that did is make it really hard not to cry when things all came to a peak. I've heard she can be emotional. My response was: you can't blame her for being emotional if you don't know the whole story. Especially if there is a lot more going on than you can see. Especially when you don't want to burden other's with your BS. It took a lot of time before I realised my friends wanted to be there for me, wanted to help me and support me, just like I wanted to do for them. But it's a hard barrier to get past. Growing up, I was taught that most things are best left unsaid. And no one really wants to hear what's going on. My guy friends supported that theory by complaining to me when their girlfriends or friends who are girls would cry or be upset. "Does she really think I want to hold her while she cries and listen to her shit?" Hah... no, girls are sooo stupid, I used to reply. It only makes me care and want to hug her more, and punch people in the face for calling her "too emotional" or "unstable". No one is really stable, not all the time.

- This girl in this mess

Next time on this blog: I have a secret! And hopefully it'll become known after the new year. Also, how I stopped smoking, and how I'm meditating to try and prevent myself from smoking in stressful times. (Don't. Eat. Through. The. Stress.)

Winter ends as it begins.

You clean all your dishes and then somehow they all are dirty again by the end of the day. (Dramatic sigh here.) 

Tonight was girl's night with one of my longest standing friends I have here in Dutchland. Now that she is done with school, she has free time again! Her recent break-up has also freed her up greatly. Fortunately for me, that means I can see her a lot more frequently before she leaves for a third of a  year to New Zealand. (Super jealous!) Though the situation isn't ideal or fortunate for her ex, and in her circumstance, not for her either. Well, she knows she made the right decission, he just seems very reluctant to give her up. Thus texting her and making attempts at conversation more than when they were dating. Peculiar, thought I. Would this be my life if I hadn't @$%&ed up? (The more time goes by; the more people I talk with, the less guilty I feel about my actions.) My ex told me that he had still thought I was perfect, but then I did that thing where I had sex with someone while being single... 

Rant time! 
Okay, is he really surprised? He knew me and knew I've done such similiar things. Also, I apologise profusely, but that is far from enough. He forgets my birthday, breaks his promises, tells me "It's just a fish..." when my fish dies (sure it was "just a fish", but it was my fish; my pet! In what world do you dismiss your girlfriend/boyfriend/friend's pain in such a way?), and tells me sorry. He tells me that that is all he can do, and I'm being irrational for holding onto my anger or still being upset. Sure, I seek validation for my distress. And you know what? People agree with me. He knows my biggest secret. He knows that sex just doesn't hold the same value for me as it does for other people. Maybe that's just how it goes when something apparently so special gets stolen from you. This situation only proves that how we care and think about things is just too different. 
Rant over.

I got my onesie today! I'm Batman. It has thumb holes and pockets and a removable cape and the hoodie is a Batman mask. Basically, it's the best thing ever. Be jealous. Do it. The theme of Comic Book Hero's (& Co.) New Year's party is onesie and wizards. Tempted to dress up as Gandalf (full beard action), I was easily talked into the onesie. And rightly so! This thing is so cozy. It's like wearing a suit made of warm, cuddly, purring kittens while on happy drugs. Plus, I've heard it's the best for long trips in cars/busses/and the such. 

Speaking of Comic Book Hero, I'm seeing him on Wednesday and our date really couldn't come sooner. We've been chatting and skyping and minecrafting. A few weeks ago I met him and a couple weeks ago we really started talking. But it feels like I've known him forever. He's not just interested in making a blanket fort, he's excited. I'm nervous. I really like him and I'm really looking forward to it. I want to spend the night and hold him and kiss him because I've never felt this way before. (You can gag on my sappyness, it's okay.) And I don't want to mess things up. I'm not intending to bed him in that sense, I'm really comfortable with waiting. But I will have a night terror. No doubt. The same one. And I will kick, cry, scream, and wake up in a pant. Or I won't sleep at all. Too petrified to relive the memories.

Comic Book Hero told me the most beautiful thing the other night. He said, "I understand that you had a hard childhood (I kind of dancce around the topic and tell him I'm just not ready to discuss some things.) and I've had a really safe and good childhood. I want to share that with you, you deserve to be really happy and I want to be the one that makes you feel safe." I cried. Man, sometimes I feel like the most horrid and poisonous person. How... how did I get so lucky as to have someone so sweet and amazing in my life? I don't deserve it, and I'm sure some would agree with that statement. 

- I'm Batman (this girl)

This bitch part 2! ... *sigh*

Cold like ice. 

It's not news to me that I'm a bit of a bitch. Or careless. Or selfless. Or...whatever. I have documented record of my horridness. Long story short? I slept with someone else the day after I broke up with my boyfriend. This has affected my life in a few ways. First, my ex hates me. I didn't break up with him because I didn't love him, I broke up with him because I wasn't in love with him anymore. I feel devastated. 

So why did you do it?

Because I'm human? Because I make mistakes? Because I honestly have no idea? I wish I could answer this question. Sure, I liked the guy. And I was curious. I made it happen, I did. But it didn't feel right, and now I'm stuck asking myself the same question. EDIT- After having lunch with my neighbour, and talking about everything, I admit I agree with him. He told me everyone makes mistakes. Things like this happen, probably from a desire to feel loved in a time of chaos and pain. 

Second thing that happened? I pissed off a good friend of mine. Who is also the best friend of my ex. Why am I good friends with my ex's best friend? (Or should I say, why was I...) Because he's like the older brother I never had (despite having an older brother). I could always look up to him and talk with him. But I lied to him about what happened. Was is my best decision? No. Definitely not. I haven't really been doing good in that area this week.

Third thing? I have burned the bridges to help me get into the school I want to study at. I will fix everything. Also, Confusing doesn't confuse me anymore. In fact, I feel sick thinking about him. Unfortunately, my emotions are pretty strong at the moment. 

On other news I'm going to Utrecht tonight to celebrate a birthday get drunk. Or...tipsy. Party, distraction, have a good time. 

We never mean to hurt the people we care about. But, we are naturally flawed people and we do make mistakes. Only time can heal - blah blah blah. Why can't I seem to learn this lesson? 

- This slow learner

Let the blogging (re)begin!

Yep, I'm back. I'm back and it feels great needed. 

I could do that thing where I tell you what's been happening in the last forever. But I don't want to go into details. So bullet points!

• I'm working on getting into the HKU next year for game programming.
• I broke up with my boyfriend after 11 months.
• I got kicked out of my apartment.
• Moved into a different apartment.
• Threw a few parties.
• Travelled the world. (At least... the Eastern European part of it.)
• Went to a GTA barber.
• Got fish.
• Lost a fish.
• Befriended my neighbour.
• Started roller derby.

These are in no particular order by the way. 

So here I am, less than a weak since the break up, sitting on my couch in my pants and an Adventure Time t-shirt, writing. I was watching telly, then I thought to myself "let's look at facebook". I don't remember really why exactly. But, man, was that a horrid idea in hindsight. 

Let the nicknames return! So there may or may not be this boy who is completely handsome, sweet and a total nerd (like me!). And he likes me. Or he did, but he doesn't anymore? Or he still does but doesn't want to admit it? Or he is just swamped with school and other problems and doesn't want to lead me on so he decided to take the highroad and tell me to go away because he's afraid he'll just hurt me in the end? (Try saying all that in one breath.) Well Confusing is driving me crazy. This whole (no)thing started a few days before I broke up with my boyfriend. Nothing happened, mind you. We were just flirty. I called him out on liking me. I guess our significant problem is I'm upfront and fast with things and he's slower than a sloth... with relationships. Anywho- it was fun and flirty and cute and sweet (after the break-up). I would prefer to say I had have only a crush. Really. In the grade-school playground kind of way. But then we had this conversation over messenger last night (this sounds like an after school special) and it went from okay to bad. I was hurt and crying and feeling stupid. I cried over a guy I barely know! Why?? Can someone please tell me what the hell? Well I wake up this morning and the feeling is gone. I don't feel upset or petty, and I'm completely ready to blame my crazed emotions on the hormone imbalance that comes with "that time of the month"... until. Until I see a photo of him and one of my friends on facebook looking totally hot. The pit of my stomach shuddered while my heart cried a single tear. Meanwhile my brain is tsk-tsking those shallow parts of my body, and reminding me that he's just whatever. I'll see him on Saturday, and guess what? I'll be sweet, kind and understanding. It was only a crush after all. Confusing is a cool guy and if he's not ready, then that's the way it is.

Tonight I will go see the Hunger Games part 2 with a friend and then chill afterwards with a few people. A-bout mother ducking time! Jokes. (Insert winky face here.) Though, I haven't talked with them since post break-up, so I'm really looking forward to tonight.

Stay tuned for the next blog post! When I talk about Comic Book Hero, and how we already  have 2 (or three, I lost count) nerdy dates planned for the near future! The trip to Finland fiasco! And since I can't predict the future, whatever else happens until then! 

- This little girl with a crush

No, it's a giraffe.

So the building I live in right now is getting torn down in less than a year (so they say) so we can pretty much do whatever we want to the building. Including tagging. Plus lots of you already know I have a thing for saying "rawr". I've been doing this little dinosaur (not so little at the moment) all over the place, starting in Austin, Texas. 


Kiwi is in Holland! Jiska and I are really happy about that 'cause Kiwi is pretty badass. Though he's taking a nap right now... he's old. (Not really, just like teasing him because he is a few years my elder.) I picked him up from the airport at nine in the morning yesterday then we hung out in Amsterdam for a bit. Laughing, joking, catching up on stories. I realized I made a lot of word jokes going from Dutch to English, my boys at Caspar Fagel would be very proud of me. (Also I didn't know it was 'Caspar', always thought it was 'Casper'. I blame Bob because that's what he wrote down for me.) I took him to the DSB last night. He had a blast! We ended up only a few people left at the bar, something like 11 or 13. More flour got everywhere and because of that more rounds were made. Bier hier, bier hier! Though to technically be considered "sitting" at the bar I sat on both youngster and enigma's lap. That was fun. I don't think the barman wanted to accept that, but he did. Thanks!


Sailor tried to steal my scarf again! And we ended up in the boys lavatory! (Again.) Strangely with peanut butter guy and one of my year mates. Though they did splendidly. Helped give me my scarf back. Thanks boys! This was after I ran all over the DSB chasing sailor who had full grasp of my scarf. Short lived though. I'm quick and strong... well strong enough to keep holding on.


For the record my girlfriend and I did NOT use tongue when we kissed. It was a simple peck on the lips. Sorry to burst your bubble boys, but it didn't happen. We were just being silly. Though she is mine (and I hers, she's currently fighting mister for me), and I can be pretty protective. 


Well the Dude and I might move in together, that would be awesome! Especially since our taste in movies, music, and food is very similar. Plus we both don't go and visit our parents on the weekends. Namely because his are in Italy and mine are in Texas, makes it kind of hard to pop in for the weekend. We're looking for potentially a third member to move in with us. We really want to make a DSB house. I keep meaning to ask my girlfriend if she wants to but for whatever reason I keep getting distracted. Hey! Want to move in with us? 


So I ended up having a really deep conversation with a friend last night. He cares and I'm really appreciative of that. But don't you ever make me cry again. Especially in a public place. I prefer not to cry period. That's the best way to watch me walk away and end the conversation. Also, I'm considering deleting my blog. I know a lot of you like to read it, but I feel this is starting to get out of hand. It's my way of expressing myself and getting things off my chest and keeping a record of the things I did so I can come back and read them later and laugh at myself or remember the things I learned and the obstacles I got over. But I find myself unable to really put all of that in my blog. Sure the nicknames do a bit of concealing. You make think you know who fits all the nicknames, but can you actually know? (Insert smirky face here. Hah!) The nicknames aren't enough. I'm a flirt, a bitch, a girl, a friend, super forgetful, and a confused Texan and I don't want to be judged because the things I write down get twisted and skewed into something I don't mean or never did. 


Anyways. I'm not doing OK. I put a smile on my face for you. But I'm working on it. And no this is not an open invitation to ask me "what's wrong?" I'll just blatantly ignore that question. 


I think I'm going to go play in the rain and then Kiwi and I are building a blanket fort. That's fun. Got to enjoy the simple things in life, because when life gives you lemons you make red wine. (I love confusing life.) But when life gives you melons... well, you may be dyslexic. 


- This child at heart

No hangover

This is what happens when I'm allowed to write on doors. I take over. Mister says I'm blog addicted. But I'm not! Also mister is officially my boyfriend. (Not facebook official, don't give me that crap.) 

Last night Raisa and I had the brilliant idea to mark my arm with a marker to keep track of how many drinks I had. Yea, that worked. Thirty seven marks later I was fairly drunk. For the record I didn't have 37 beers, I had 31 and two shots. But we all agreed that shots counted as three marks. Anyways I hung out at the bar and with everyone testing the new DDL (it's like a DD but for a bar...) things were a bit chaotic. (Ja dat.) Lots of things got thrown over the bar, including people. Also the lights went out at one point and some people went over the bar. I was doing good before I sat at the bar. I only had 10 or 12 marks on my arm before that point. 

Raisa and I kissed. We were proving a point. Kind of. We were joking around that we were friends with benefits, so at one point someone called us out on it so we kissed. It was funny because that's not supposed to happen at the bar so boots asked the bar if it was allowed and he just shrugged and said "sure". No it didn't get any more elaborate than a peck on the lips (pervs). 

Dinner tonight with the Casper Fagel boys and Raisa then Mister and I are hanging out just the two of us. Aww how cute. Hush it. Tonight is the IFF party but I'm not too interested in going. At all. I've been drinking so much these past weeks it'll be nice to curl up with mister and watch a movie. 

Today was nice. Weather was nice and warm. The summer was just a bit late guys. 

- This not blog addicted girl

Over a 1000 page views!

For the record: this is Texas. Austin, Texas to be specific. I used to have a place I'd go to right next to my house in the middle of the night. It was amazing. It was a little farther up the river from here and had these docks. I would always sit at the very end of the middle one, my feet just barely hanging over the water, the stars bright in the sky, the cool wind brushing against my cheeks. It was calm. Whenever I needed to just go and think that's where I would do it. I would sometimes bring a blanket and just lay down on my back and stare up at the sky. It was just far out from the city that the light pollution didn't wash out the stars. I miss that spot. I'm sure I could find something like it here but there really isn't any place calm to go quickly. I mean, the beach is a thirty minute bike ride from here. That's not so bad. But I've tried going to places near me in Leiden and they're still all too much part of the city. Something is always still happening. It's weird.

Anyways, I just wanted to show y'all that Texas isn't all a desert like some of y'all think. Look!! Green stuff!! No, those aren't just weirdly shaped cacti. Those are, in fact, trees. 

I went to the DSB last night, but got there a bit late. Most everyone was gone so there were only a few of us that bar. (Enough to keep the bar open.) I must say, that was enjoyable. Despite my significant lack in ability to speak and understand the Dutch language (though I am trying to at least understand, that's the first step), it was more intimate and obviously not so hectic. Have you ever thrown a glass against a wall so hard is shatters? (DSB members: Yes...) Well now I have, and goodness gracious it's fun! I also paid my bar tab, go me.

So after the Wednesday drinking night I found in my purse: wallet, passport, scarf, gum, old train tickets, the book "The UnDutchables", bike lights, my cap from camp, a golfball on a ribbon, and a cactus. Yes, a cactus. Chaos invited me to join their college... and then gave me a cactus. If I kill the cactus I'm not allowed in. They do know that cacti are almost impossible to kill right? In fact you'd have to either not water it for about three months or leave it in a bowl of water for a week. (Cacti just absorb all the water they can since they aren't sure when the next time they will get water is, being that it's a desert plant and all. In the random situation you get stuck in a desert, cutting open a cactus is a great way to find water. Unless in Arizona, 'cause that's illegal.) But yea, if you leave a cactus in a bowl of water it will explode.

I also am going to be going drinking with Schranz on Tuesday so I can hang out with them and some of the members I haven't gotten the chance to really talk to yet. I'm really looking forward to that. 

Finnegan is doing better. I never went to see baldy to get him fixed, I kind of got stuck here fixing it. We got a few things resolved but it looks like I am still going to have to wipe him clean and then reinstall the OS. (Probably Lion this time.) Though baldy is being a little prick right now. (Nestor baldy.) 

I finally talked to my hitchhike buddy, he moved (jerk). But it looks like things are still on for Sweden this winter. No we're not hitchhiking all the way to the top of Sweden, just Stockholm. Then we'll bus it to North Cape. Every 11 years the northern lights are the strongest and most colorful: that's this year. And I figure I'm on the continent, why not? (Waroom niet?) The idea is to be sitting in a natural hot springs at night with a nice view of the sky. It's pretty ideal, I know. 

Mister and I talked and we're just friends right now. He's being very helpful and understanding. Though, I think he may be a bit frustrated with me. Oops, sorry! After the utter madness that was my relationship with boy, I am not sure I'm ready to try and be in something serious quite yet. (I say this all the time.) But seriously! Plus, blah blah blah, everything on my plate, blah blah blah. OH! So I've sent emails out for instemming and hopefully I will have a place to live at the end of October. Also, I've been working on my paperwork for my Dutch course and student visa.   

What a relaxed weekend. Also there are so many people I want to hang out with! I really need a girls day, especially with Johanna! Her and I have a lot to talk about, mainly just girl things. At least that's the idea. And her parents are so kind, they got me salsa and maple syrup from Texas! Speaking of parents... I need to talk to my mum. Eventually youngster and I are going to hang out and I need to catch up with sailor. Well, weather is semi nice (a bit chilly if you ask me) but I'm going to go relax and read a book outside or something. Maybe stretch too.


- This busy, busy girl

Charles Leopold II

Isn't he just super cute?? He's not mine, or really anyone's that I know of. Jiska and I saw him while in Amsterdam at a waterpijp lounge. See the naming scheme works like this: I gave Jiska a plush puppie for her birthday and we named it Charles Leopold III and we want a snake named Charles Leopold I and a cat named Charles Leopold II and then from there whenever we buy mice to feed to the snake we name them Charles Leopold IV, Charles Leopold V, Charles Leopold VI and so on and so forth. (It's not mean, hush. I've named pets worse things.)

So I had another college activity yesterday. It was a lot of fun! They really want me to learn Dutch which is fine because I really want me to learn Dutch. Ik wil Nederlands leren. It's taking some time, but I do believe I'm making some progress. It's only been a couple weeks that I've really been putting in a serious effort and having people talk mainly Dutch to me. So give me a break, I'm still pretty fresh. Tomorrow is dinner with another college and then drinking. Yay!

I almost thought my bike got stolen today! Good thing it didn't. It instead got moved out of it's spot and then this morning the bike guys came to claim it because it wasn't in a proper spot. (It was definitely in a proper spot when I left it. Jerks.) Anyways, I feel that paying 26 euros is a lot better than paying for a new bike, though I rather the bike not have been moved in the first place. I got another bike lock today to prevent this from happening in the future. Hah! Take that you mean bike moving jerks!

[This section of the blog has been deleted. Blame Jiska.]

Also my Dutch is getting slightly better (beetje beter). I can understand simple sentences and youngster pointed that out yesterday. That made me happy, I'm glad someone is noticing. Youngster probably won't like that his nickname is youngster, but I'm a good six months older than him so he's a youngster to me. (Insert winky face here. It's just fun to mess with you.) He also tried to knock me off his bike for absolutely no reason at all! (It's not like I was tickling him or anything.)

Last but not least I have a problem, and wouldn't you like to know! Too bad. I've recently discovered the inconvience of having many people read my blog, I can no longer vent about events going to happen. Though it has a lot to do with me not wanting to be in a relationship and semi being in one. It's hard, I adore him. I think I might be afraid of commitment or maybe I feel like it's still just too much for me right now. I've only been living here for four months and I still have so much to do. Get everything finalized with TU for the Dutch course, get my student visa paperwork signed, find an apartment, get a bank account, apply for residency...etc. So yea. Not ready. Ugh. Sigh.

Tomorrow I go and hang out with baldy so he can help me fix Finnegan.

me: Wanna play doctor?

All fingers crossed this works! (I'm on Jiska's computer because he's so slow. Poor Finnegan.)

Enough about me though, what about you? How have you been? I feel like we're always talking about me here. I just go on and on about my problems and my day. I'm really sorry about that, I feel a bit arrogant here. I hope you are having a wonderful day (or evening, maybe morning? Naaah, you're still asleep.)

- This ultimately confused girl

I even said it in Dutch!

I'm trying not to name the colleges I like in my blog even though they all find out anyways. But, I couldn't help it with this picture. There are a couple others that are also pretty awesome. A ride at the fair was called "Chaos". I took a picture of the sign that said "you have to be this tall to ride this ride" and we all had a good laugh because you have to be a certain height to ride Chaos. (Insert winky face here.) 

So are you ready for the re-introduction of nicknames!? Because now I am officially a first year at the DSB and the IP weeks are over! So we have my mister who, I guess you could say makes me a little less single than I've been the past couple of months. But wait! (You say... right?) What happened to that other guy you like? Uhm, yea, no. I'm just not going there. (Vague.) Anyways, me and mister are super cute. Also between the two of us we're allergic to everything. Guess what? That's super awesome. We went to the store the other day and were looking at sweet things like this:

Me: Oh this looks yummy!

Mister: Yea! (checks package) It has lactose in it. Hmm, this looks good.

Me: (Nod in agreement, check package) It may contain peanuts. 

After about 30 minutes of this, we got very depressed and just left the store with no sweets. This could be a blessing in disguise though. I won't be gaining weight due to senseless sweet snacking. I will just be gaining weight from all the beer I will be drinking at the DSB. Hellooo freshmen 20! I will find a way to battle that.

Did I mention I am now an official member of the DSB? Mhmm. Yep. I did it. Also if you  have never eaten with the DSB in a whole I suggest you find a way to do so. There is never a dull moment at the DSB. We have something we do which is to make random statements. They don't have to make sense, they don't have to be true (in fact they shouldn't be), but you do  have to say it confidently. Then someone stands up and agrees or disagrees and then makes a new statement. Also, if you want to tell a story you have to walk. On the tables. 

Yesterday was so much fun. Everyone was all relaxed and happy and no longer all stiff and tough looking. Especially the members of the IC, it was nice to actually get to talk to them casually. Hugo especially was relaxed. He flung whipped cream at me. So, I got a spoon full of whipped cream and apple tart, stood up on the table, walked across the table, stood in front of him (still on the table), dropped the cream and tart all over his head, then dropped the spoon. The great thing is when you stand up everyone shouts "politesse" (literally means "politeness" but in this context basically means shut up), so as soon as I stood on the table I had everyone's attention. He was a good sport about it and cleaned my coat and we shook hands afterwards with giant smiles on our face. Then we partied. Everyone partied. (We all got fairly buzzed from the free wine at the dinner.) 

Year 2006 I think it was (sorry if I'm wrong!)[Edit. I was wrong, 2005, thank you.] gave whiskey because they're badass. Then they filled my cup with whiskey. And by "fill" I mean it was filled. So, it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways, I got fairly smashed. I went home with peanutbutter guy. We were going to watch Dr. Who but that kind of didn't happen. We were too drunk and too tired so we just went to sleep. Okay, well I was too drunk. 

Also, Finnegan really isn't doing good. I'll fix him soon. Like tomorrow soon. 

Time to go make chili for the boys! And drink some more beer. They're going to teach me stifsja (spelling?). 

- This first year

Let them have cake!

Well, tomorrow is the last day in the IP (introduction period) weeks. 

(Bob: niet hopen.)

Thanks... I love it when people read my blog over my shoulder while I'm writing it. They always seem to need to comment. This makes me a bit nervous though...

Anyways, or maybe that's today and tomorrow is just a party? Either way, this is it, I'm about to no longer be a noviet. And goodness gracious I'm excited! So excited I made cakes. One for the EC (told ya I'd do it) and one is for the house I'm staying in. (There is a small part on the ''yall are awesome!" cake that doesn't have chocolate on it because Fritz doesn't like chocolate.) 

Today was pretty nice. I got my dress for inaguaration and I had the girls lunch today with the all boy's college Octopus. They really know how to put on a good lunch. I also sat down and did some writing for a song and worked on some chords for one of my songs. Oh and I made cakes, but I think that's pretty obvious. 

Last night was a lot of fun, though I didn't get all the signatures in my book and I started off the evening with what I can only think to be a really bad hangover. I talked to lots more people and learned about even more colleges. Also got asked to a few activities for Monday. I think I have my decision pretty set for which college is my number one choice. All fingers crossed they ask me to join.

So remember how I said I wouldn't do nicknames these two weeks? Man, its super hard. There is so much I want to say! (Write!) Well, wannabe boytoy is now going to be called baldy because he got his head shaved. (And it's a more solid, easy nickname. Wannabe boytoy is just too long.) Got to admit though, doesn't look too bad on him. It'll be nice to actually be able to talk to him again tomorrow. (Remember, just friends.) Of course I like someone, but knowing me I can't ever just like one person. I always seem to be torn between people. But I think I'm statisfied with not having a boyfriend, especially with all the things still on my plate. Plus, I'm really more concerned with making good friends. That's making me the most happy at the moment. I know I've said it many times before, but I really do love the DSB. Though, I digress. Those two will get nicknames later.

Well it's time for me to get into some dingy clothes because I'm about to head to the DSB where the next three something hours will be spent getting really, really dirty. I'm looking forward to it though. 

- This soon to be a dirty, dirty girl

Nederlands

Ik ben Texas, of Alexandra. Ik kom uit Texas. Ik woom in Delft. Ik ben 20 jaar oud. Ik vind Nederlands heel makkelijk. En, ik praat graag over mij zelf. 

That last line was a bit sarcastic, for the record. But this is what I worked on the other day during study hour. My dutch is getting there... slowly. Off to an activity with one of the colleges! 

- This noviet

Sad day for Finnegan

I found this on my computer from the first time I went to Delft. Pretty niffty huh? It has nothing to do with Finnegan though. Finnegan is my computer... well macbook to be super specific. He's dying. The trackpad is slow, the camera is broke, he takes forever to boot up: I think he may have the flu. AHH I gave Finnegan novietentyfus!! I need to take him to the mac shop today and see if he can get fixed. (And how much that may cost.) Thus! Posts may be delayed for awhile. (Aww, shucks!) 

Other than that I have another lunch today with one of the colleges. Speaking of college, I need to get my college information from Texas and very soon. Why are they taking so long!? I may just end up sitting in the classes this week so I don't get so behind, but I'm starting to worry I won't be getting into the school this year. Sad day for this girl too. To top it all off it's all rainy and windy and stuff. Also I have a mega headache. Whine, whine, whine! It's my blog I'll do whatever I want. Pout. 

Anyone know of any good second hand shops in Delft? I still need to buy a dress for the inauguration. Also, I'm looking for a bigger and warmer vest. 

[drie uur later]

Well $#%@. I went and talked to the international office today and found out that because my Dutch isn't proficient enough I have to take an intensive Dutch course before I can enroll into TU. That starts in November. Well at least I will be doing something. Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner!? Also... the Dutch for foreigners page on the TU website is in Dutch (face palm) this helps.

Lets see, lets see... how to end this post so I don't sound like I'm super sad today...

OH OH I know!! I get to mingle with more DSB members tonight and ask about their colleges. I also get to help plan the inauguration party with my fellow year mates today! Wonder what we're going to do for a theme? Hah, please not Spongebob (our year song is to that tune). 

- This mildly disappointed girl

"Thanks."

If someone says to you "thanks" it can have so many different meanings. In this case it means much of the following: "You're a fucking bitch." And... probably more. Though, it isn't much of what I don't already know. Anways, thanks for reminding me. I'm an awful person and I'm working on it. Jeeze.

So how to respond? Hah! I don't. I mean honestly, what would I say? "You're welcome." Maybe throw in a smiley face just for a real kicker. No, the deed is already done. I'm sure that she knows there is no message coming from me, though she may hope.

I can't say I was in my better judgement at the time. Alcohol was definitely involved. Besides, it takes two to tango, right?

Now I wait for his message where he tells me how much he hates me and himself. Now that is a message I can respond to:

"That sounds unhealthy, have a drink instead."

Really, I'm not the best influence.

- This bitch

Boot Camp

I drank beer out of this boot. Like a boss. (Four times.) It's Hello Kitty too. I wouldn't suggest it; drinking out of a boot. It smells like rubber and unless you drink it all at once (which, trust me, is a very, very hard feat to do... pun so intended) the beer will taste a bit off. Last night at the DSB was fun, though I'm pretty sure I left my sense of direction at the bar. Luckily, it found me this morning. 


So I'm banging through a crash course in Dutch. Maar mijn nederlands is niet goed. Oke, beetje beter. Writing things out and seeing how they're spelled really helps. And since I have the alphabet down now, people can spell things out to me in Dutch and I understand the pronunciation a little bit better. 


Now time to add to the list of things I didn't even consider would be different in Europe. Crutches. Didn't think they would be so different, but they are. Instead of them going all the way up to your armpit and resting your body on them like that, you stick your arm through a ring and hold on a hand grip. The ring is attached to a bar that is slightly bent for support so you're resting your weight on your arms. It's weird and hard to describe. Anyways, I have them because I fell down the other night and someone stepped on my ankle during a bit of chaos. (Fun chaos.) It's just badly sprained and still a bit sore, but it swelled up so big! The EC and a couple of my nestors kept telling me to sit down and that I needed to go to the doctor and make sure its okay. They were happy when I came back the next day with crutches. They are really, really nice. I feel like I should thank them more often... maybe I'll bake them a cake. But goodness gracious! The DSB has so many stairs! So yesterday I only brought one crutch and today I'm not bringing any crutches. I'll just wrap it again and make sure to be careful. 


We get to find out who is in what colleges tonight! I've been making some guesses but everyone just kind of winks at me and smiles while shrugging. It's fun. I can tell when I'm right though because they're so proud of their colleges that the blossoming smile on their faces kind of gives them away. I really can't wait to talk to all the DSB members about their colleges. You get to know your year mates really well and become a family with all of them. We're all equal and we're all going through the same thing. You can really tell that we're already so close with how everyone interacts with each other and how kind everyone is to each other. We make jokes, we tease and laugh, and if someone needs help you bet everyone is going to offer to help. It's great. Then, there is the bond through the colleges. That's even tighter. Your college is your family. The people you will be with and know for the rest of your life. It kind of sounds like a crazy extreme commitment, but I like it. Especially since moving over here alone. I don't often talk about how homesick I am sometimes or how much I miss my family, but I do. I already kind of feel like the DSB is my second family. It's nice. 


More people in the Netherlands are reading my blog and I can only help to think that some of them are DSB members (especially since some of the DSB members told me they read my blog). So, hi DSB members! How are you today? ... mhmm, interesting. Hold that thought, I'm writing a blog. Can we finish this conversation tonight? Kay, thanks! 


I know there aren't any nicknames in this post (and I know how much y'all love to decipher the nicknames) but I'm afraid all the juicy details about who I like and who did what will have to wait until after the inauguration. Don't worry, the inauguration is next Friday. 


- This homesick chick